Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Things I Am Afraid Of

Things of which I am afraid:

Bad grammar

Swine Flu (Say it like Inspector Clouseau!)

Death

Brown recluse spiders

Unwanted Thoughts Syndrome

Being haunted by my grandmother

Being challenged to a duel by Andrew Jackson
and all that that entails

They will cancel Breaking Bad

Alzheimer's

Being misunderstood

Losing the loves in my life

Getting so fat
not P H A T... F F F A T T T
(with apologies to Z. Galifianakis)

Getting so thin

Hunger

Having to live on the street as everyone abandons me for being so obnoxious
and I have no way to make money because...I have no way to make money

Having someone move into my cardboard box when I am out getting food scraps

Zombies

Fundamentalist Christians

(sorry for the double post there)

Stroke

Parkinson's Disease

Waking up with some one's face right up to mine
(doubly so if it is Gage from Pet Sematary)

Meeting people

Talking to strangers on the phone

Hospitals

Global warming

My sugar intake

Not exercising enough

Exercising too much

Bruce Willis
(really just afraid of going to prison after I smack that insufferable grin off his bald headed face)

Going to prison

Having a human -like duck about the height of my knees waddle swiftly down the hall of my house

Being ignored on Twitter

Not blogging every f%$@*ing day in April

2 comments:

  1. For me it is being neighbors with Angus Scrim from those Phantasm movies. Is it a dream, " NO, IT'S NOT!"

    A cardboard house like Antwon's from Living Color.

    Bruce Willis should not be worth your time, he has definitely jumped the shark, as my friend would say....

    I am afraid of thinking to much as in circular thoughts and reasoning....

    So, there you go.

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